


Dovah Doodleboppin

by InfinityRawrses



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Drunken Shenanigans, Humor, Thieves Guild, Various side characters that I'd rather not tag, just my idiot dovahkiin living her life, my horses name is rhino and i love that horse SO MUCH
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-06-06 01:26:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6732151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfinityRawrses/pseuds/InfinityRawrses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just my dovahkiin Res going through life. Shooting folks stealing stuff, hanging in the nearest tavern or cave. It's set before any of the dragonborn hoopla occur, even though she's doing in game quests, so I suppose it's kind of an au?? Idk, no dragons... yet. </p><p>Some random snippets into my dragonborns life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Res Vorstag and a chair

**Author's Note:**

> If anything a all flubbed up please tell me, kinda just posted this randomly. Hope you enjoy my dragon born, her name is Res btw.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First meeting. Before she was a someone in the thieves guild. Tbh most Vorstag stuff will be pre guild master. This is near the beginning of her journey, right after becoming a member of the thieves guild. Because that's literally the first thing I did as soon as I was able!

Res cautiously walked in to the silver blood inn. When walking into a city a brutal murder is never what you want to be greeted with, so to put it lightly, she was on edge. The bar keep leered at her, and some drunkard shouted about wanting a good fist fight. She felt a little out of place, she saw the burley men with big maces and swords and she clung to her bow and walked past as quickly as he could. She took a seat by the fire and ordered a mead to calm her nerves. 

A nordsman stood above her. His pecs were frankly to ripped. And he seemed to be puffing himself bigger? 'What is this asshole doing?' She wondered. 

"I believe you're in my seat." He spoke softly, but retained his pufferfish appearance. 

"Well I don't see your name on it so uh, looks like you're shit outa luck." Res also spoke softly while she clung to her bow. 

The nord picked her and the chair up. Res's eyes widened and her hands clung to the sides of her seat. Her mead falling to the ground with a tragic thunk. 

The man pointed to the underside of the chair. Res held tightly to the back and leaned over to read in fine calligraphy font Vorstag's chair and in a knifed out scrawl DONT SIT ON 

Vorstag sat the chair back down. 

"Shit. Out. Of. Luck." She hunkered down on the chair as he slammed it down. "Perfectly good chair right there." She gestured to her left. 

There was a pause. Vorstag picked up the chair again and began shaking it back and forth. 

Res held on tightly giving no sway. He slammed the chair down. They had gained an audience, something Res wasn't to keen on. 

Vorstag gave a frustrated grunt. 

"Bow arms." Res replied to his unvoiced question. "Could you get me another mead please?" 

He paused. "I'll get you a bottle of mead if you get out of my chair."

"It's your fault I dropped it. I want interest."

Vorstag rubbed a hand over his face. "Pie."

"... Nah. Whatcha got in your pockets?"

"My- what?!"

"I want septums you hulking oaf. Or no chair."

Vorstag thinks. "I could just sit on you." 

Res looks him up and down. "I can think of orcs who would give more appealing lap dances. Perhaps the guy who is falling off the floor would take one."

Vorstag sighed and grabbed his blade. Placing it by her neck. "Move." He pulled back his sword to swing. 

And. 

Swoosh- clatter. 

He missed. Res and the chair are on their sides. 

Vorstag steps closer into the mead puddle, Res quickly swiped her bow under his foot slipping him up, he falls to the floor and a couple bar goers cheer. She sits the chair upright and uses him as a footrest. 

He grabs her foot and pulls her off the chair, he quickly jumps up and claims the chair. A couple hoots from the peanut gallery. Res situated her outfit and promptly sits in his lap. 

Vorstag shouts in pain jumping up. Res quickly takes his seat, holding the knife she had situated on her leg that now had his blood. She turns to the bar keeps wife. "I'd like one room please." She tosses the woman a bag. And to the elation of the rest of the bar scoots the chair with her. 

Vorstag grabs the leg of the chair. Res squawks and begins kicking his face. "Let go you dumb horker!" She tosses another coin purse "throw some lard on him!" She shouts. 

The bar keep grabs the purse and rushes to the back to grab the lard to dump a bucket upon the warrior. Much to his wife's dismay. 

Vorstag's grip begins to falter. But he easily gets enough force to push forward and keep up with her scoots. Res looks around in dismay. The drunkard had made a triumphant cheer as he finally makes it to his feet. Res shouts. "FREE MEAD!" And predictably the man wonders in their direction. Res's plan works as he falls onto his fellow Nord allowing her a clean get away. 

She makes it to her room and slams the door. 

The inn erupts in cheers of joy and wails of dismay, pockets grow and shrink and drinks flow as stories of the epic battle of the chair are praised and retold to those just walking in. 

Res locks her door and gets into her night cloths. Happily drifting off with victory on her mind. 

 

\---

 

Res wakes up the next mourning and trips on the chair. "Huh."

She gets her things together to leave, but is surprised to see the lard covered Nord sleeping in front of her door. She looks back at the chair. 

The Breton carefully places the chair on his back while making her escape. She almost makes it home free when she walks into the main hall of the inn. The few drunkards that are still there shout her new title of "chair champion" much to her horror.

She hears a clattering and looks over to see the nord had woken up. She tries to rush out but the bar patrons picked her up and began chanting "chair champ! Chair champ! Chair champ!"

Res tries to get away but only succeeds in running headlong into the very man she had been trying to avoid. 

She gives a half hearted smile, trying to brush some of the lard out of her hair with her hands. "Gave your chair back!"

"You stole my coin purse." 

"Well you tried to steel my life over a chair so we're even." 

He sighs. "At least pay for my bath. Please!" He looked genuinely pathetic in that moment. And it almost made Res cave. Almost. She turned out of the door and ran out into the streets. 

 

\---

 

She dragged herself back into the inn a few weeks later , one body part at a time. Markarth. Was. Terrifying! Ancient metal men of death??? Daedric princes???? FORESWORN POLITICAL PLOTS?!?!?! This day was to much. She slowly meanders back to the fire and is surprised to see the nord still there. He sees her and grabs a new chair next to him and plops it down next to her. 

"It's got your name on it." He says simply. 

Res plops down. She thinks for a moment. Then holds out a pouch of septums. "500 should cover what I stole from you."

"Ok maybe, but the sentimental value of that coin purse was priceless and you scuffed it."

She stares at him. "Take the money, I'm gonna sleep now." She started to stand but slipped on a puddle of mead. 

The nord laughed. "I think I'll stick with you for a while. You look like you could use some muscle."

Res stood up. "If you sleep to late I'm leaving you."

"Like you're gonna wake up any time before noon." He snorts. 

"Touché." Res holds out her hand and they shake. Agreeing to meet in the mourning, or more likely afternoon, and head out onto some new quest.


	2. a guild... of THIEVES!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of like to think res was inducted into the thieves guild as a kid teen person. and all the skyrim happenings sort out over her life instead of being a thirty something whos life has just gotten exciting and will peak from there only to become a dull mess afterwards... but thats just me... also this started as how i got my wonderous stead rhino and strayed into me trying to write res and vorstag interactions

"So." Vorstag began, "I've been thinking, how about we get a horse?"

"Oh, I've never thought about getting a horse before, I don't know if I could take care of one."

"The native horses are easy to take care of, so long as there's something to graze on." 

"Well, I don't know, I've never met a horse before, what if horses don't like me?" She joked. 

Vorstag rolled his eyes but let it drop. For now.

~~~~

The two walked to the entrance of riften, Vorstag had never gotten used to the place but it seemed Res always had a lot of business here. As they walked Vorstag glanced at the stable. There were several strong horses, certainly they were willing to part with a couple... He would have to look into it. At the very least it could carry some of the crap his current employer picked up. 

As they walked in they passed a woman speaking to a man, frankly vorstag couldn't of cared less about, but res seemed to have a special interest. 

Res took him to the tavern as always. She seemed to slink in and out, always glared at by the argonians that worked there but vorstag never questioned it, he wasn't paid enough to. Res slunk around wherever she went, one tavern didn't make much difference. The routine was fairly familiar, but he strayed from his usual spot. He looked out the window and spotted res speaking with the man on the bridge. She seemed worried but she quickly turned back towards the tavern. 

Once inside res looked for him. As quiet as he could in the noisy tavern he snuck right behind her leaning into her ear, "whats the plan boss?" She jumped stiff as a board and slapped at him weakly, the argonians seemed more irritated with her every movement, both angrily whispering to each other as they watched the two. 

Flustered as she was by the slight mess up she straightened her hood and glared at him, trying to look intimidating with her red painted eyes. "If I need you I'll let you know."

"Oh, sorry it looked like you were looking for me." He teased, but she didn't even notice. 

"Oh, sorry no. I'm looking for annn..... acquaintance?" She finished lamely. "Er, get settled. I might be a while."

She turned to find the woman that they'd seen on the bridge, she looked angry, but most people in sky rim looked that way

Vorstag watched as she confronted the woman head on, 'not the little sneaks usual style', he thinks. He watches them as they talk, he sees them getting a bit heated until finally they seem to reach an agreement. Res turns back to vorstag with a smug grin, "I have a few deliveries, wait here." She rushes off again.

As vorstag waits one of the argonians stands next to him with arms crossed. "Can I help you?" He asks. 

"You're with that little rat yes?"

Vorstag paused, "if you mean res than yes, she's my employer."

"Then I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you leave. Keerava doesn't want any trash cluttering the tavern."

"I'm a paying customer!"

"You're in league with a rat from the thieves guild, as much as she's stolen you should be paying us just standing here."

"Wha- thieves guild?!"

"You mean you didn't know? They literally have matching jackets."

"I'm from markarth they haven't really been a problem in recent years!" He looked at the stuff she had given him, how much of this was stolen? The potions? The armor? Well. Not the armor that was looted not stolen, he was there when they took it off the body... 'that doesn't help her case much' he thinks. 

Talen-Jei looks at him with an unreadable look, vorstag supposed it was hard to make facial expressions when your face is all elongated. "Finish the drink, then I think you should consider a new job." 

Vorstag looked at his flagon, quickly chugged the rest and handed it to Talen-Jei, "thanks!" He flips the argonians an extra coin as he leaves. 

As soon as he walks out he sees her near the orphanage and immediately rushes towards her. 

She nods at him then grimaces seeing the unusually stern look on the easy going mercenaries face. 

"You're in the thieves guild?!"

She jumps startled at the question, "Quiet down! Do you want to tell the whole city??"

"Do I look like I care you lied about our work!"

"Listen I have never stolen while you were with me... besides the times I explicitly told you 'vorstag I'm gonna steal that' so it's not like it was news."

"Well it is news! How much of the stuff you've given me was stolen?!"

"Well, I mean we did loot that armor-"

"I already know about the armor! I meant- I meant potions and the rings and... stuff!"

"None of it!" She seemed a bit offended, "You saw me buy this ring AND enchant it! We got those boots from an ancient dwemer city and you never shut up about it! Those pelts you carry are from the saber we killed together! I never forced any of my stolen artifacts on you, and most of the time I do my thieving while you sit around in markarth." 

"How can I trust that?"

"Why would I possibly lie to you? It's not like my less than legal activities were hidden from you. You know I'm a thief but being in a thieves guild is going to far?"

"I guess a part of me just has to wonder why you would need to be in a thieves guild."

Res looked deeply uncomfortable. She sighed. "Ok I don't really want to give you the details because it was a rough part of my life but... when I came here I was Just some brat with no place to go, I was cold and didn't have much but I could always get what I needed. And that was noticed by a very important member of the guild. I got a warm place to crash in exchange for work. They might be thieves but they're good people."

Vorstag thought for a moment and sighed. "... I'm sorry, I'm just not sure how comfortable I am with... a guild."

"Of thieves!" Res supplied a little theatrically. "Come on, it's a little amazing isn't it? Everyone has that questionable friend. And I'm yours." She punched his arm and grinned. 

He took a moment to think about it. Then shoved her into a puddle and grinned. "Well it will take some getting used to... but I'll deal with it I suppose." He smiled at her. "Oh and I guess I'm banned from that bar you take me too?"

She frowned up at him. "Good you can stay outside in the cold." She stood up and wiped some of the muck from her leathers. "Ass." She glared at him, but all he did was laugh. 

"I'm serious though! You have a fancy thieves guild but where am I supposed to stay?"

She thought for a moment, and then grinned. "You wanna come down to the thieves guild?"

He paused for a moment. "Alright. Take me down to the thieves guild."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again if anything looks iffy let me know, i dont beta my stuff because im mostly just a collage kid trying to get out of studying for finals, but i know it can be annoying to read a fic and see that glaring error when either a characters name was auto corrected, because apparently vorstag isnt a real name??? or when i write ams am is going, or some other grammatical gibberish.


	3. Thief party!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The thieves guild is like a bunch of adults choosing to live together as a weird stab happy sticky fingered family.

Being a sell sword puts one in many different situations. Vorstag had been covered in any visceral substance one could think of, if it can be ejected, cut out or dropped, he had been splattered with it. However, that isn't to say he enjoyed it, in fact, he made a conscious effort to avoid it if at all possible. Yet here he stands at the entrance of the city sewers with some clearly crazed Breton. 

She opened a gate and gestured for him to follow, he did so, but not happily. "I've never heard of a guild that meets in the sewers."

"Well you've never been to a guild of thieves so that's understandable." She walked on as if nothing was strange about two relatively clean individuals with no monetary problems wondering into the rat away. 

She would occasionally stop, and she brought her bow up twice, just in case, but no one was there. Not that vorstag could see anyways. 

She got to a door and began fiddling with it until he heard a soft click. Res opened the door and let him step inside. Once in she quickly locked the door again. She punched his side, "C'mon slow poke!" practically skipping ahead. She was stopped by a man as big as an ox that actually gave vorstag a moment of unease. He put his giant hand on her face to stop her from skipping in.

"Who did you bring down here." He asked. Right to the point then. 

Her voice was muffled as she tried to move his hand, when she finally stepped back she angrily huffed. "He's a friend and technically my employee." 

"Why did you bring him here?"

"Well, he has been staying at the bee and barb but..."

The man sighed. "Alright go on." He let res through but stopped vorstag. "Don't do anything to make me kick you out..."

Vorstag quickly nodded, and rushed up to res. "Is he always li-"

"Yes." She waved at a passing man. "He never banned me, but once I started a bit of a... a bit of a stir and he threw me in the lake." Res shivered at the memory. "There's some very mean fish in that lake. one of the fisherman swore I was some rare fish with all the fog. And then they saw how the fish kept trying to eat my toes and fingers and wanted me to help them catch those monstrous creatures." Res shivered. 

Vorstag laughed as he followed her to the bar. 

"Vekel! 2 of your finest meads please!" Res shouted. 

The man at the bar gave her an unimpressed look but gave her two meads none the less. "Any luck with those books?"

She took a swig of her mead before opening her mouth. "Not yet, I've never been to dawnstar. I know skyrim is cold, but I've heard that dawnstar is... well colder."

"Colder than the reach at least." Vorstag supplied. "If we go up there we should get a horse to carry our things." 

Res paused and looked at him in a bit of confusion. "Not likely." Was her only reply. 

Vekel looked at vorstag for the first time. Really looked at him. Took in his muscle bound physique, looked at his heavy armor that didn't match with the thieves guild leathers and realized he had no idea who this man was. "Are you a new recruit or something?" He said with a bit of disbelief. 

Vorstag grimaced but before he could reply res informed the barkeep. "This is vorstag, he works for me on occasion. We needed a place to stay so I brought him here."

Vekel huffed in exasperation. "Oh, and do the others know about this?"

"Well dirge does, and he let us both in easily enough." 

"So I take it mercer wasn't included in this decision."

"Aheh, well he doesn't really need to know-" a hand clamped onto res's shoulder and she turned to see sapphire.

"You can rest assured that he already knows and is looking for you." She left with the biggest smirk on her face. 

"She looked familiar." Vorstag's sarcastic tone did little to lighten the mood. 

Res chugged the rest of her mead. Thumped the tankard down and immediately asked for something stronger. 

Before Vekel could decline Mercer and brynjolf were there. 

"Hittin it pretty heavy there, lass. Wouldn't want to be a pour host now would we?" brynjolf grinned at the both of them. 

res was about to make a snide remark before mercer's voice cut in. "Res you cannot bring strangers down here! And he certainly can't stay here! I don't know where you think you suddenly got the right to recruit for the guild but I can tell you that you haven't!"

Res glared at the man, "I didn't recruit him he works for me, and was kicked out of the bee and barb because of my problems with the owners!"

"Then he can sleep in the streets like all the other throw always!"

"Dirge let me bring him in! You're just mad because you couldn't micromanage him into the organization like you do with everyone else!"

"Do not speak to me that way you little cretan! I'll have you thrown out as fast as you ca-"

"Woah woah woah, lets slow down a bit." Brynjolf stepped between the two of them. "Now, res has been with us a good long while. I trust that she wouldn't bring any... problems to the guild," res grinned ear to ear. "But. Res, you really should have consulted with one of us beforehand." Her grin fell a bit. "So," he hauled the his fellow guild members away from vorstag. "He can't know about the cistern but he can stay here, fair?"

Res nodded easily enough. Mercer on the other hand took his time deliberating, and purposely trying to put res on edge. 

"Fine. But if I get the slightest suspicion that he is up to something, you're both out! Got it?"

"Sounds fair." Was all res said. 

Brynjolf happily lead Mercer away. Res walked back to the bar and took back her seat. "So those were my bosses."

Vorstag a eyes went wide and he turned to get a better look but could no longer find them. 

"Huh, I didn't expect leaders of a thieves guild to look so..."

"Soo? So what?"

"I dunno. Average? I guess I expected them to look a little more scrawny. Like you." 

Res grabbed his mead from him and chugged it down. 

"Hey!" He tried to grab it back but it was already empty by the time he grabbed it. 

"Oh sorry, I'm so scrawny I thought I might need a little supplement so I could be a bumbling beefcake like you." She giggled. 

Vorstag just sighed as he put a couple septums down for a new mead. 

Soon enough other members had joined them, and the night really kicked off, Niruin and vipir where in a heated argument, delvin was on bragging about some lengthy story to no one in particular and Vekel and res were both trying to get dirge and vorstag to fight, to which vorstag vehemently refused. 

"Cmon dirge! He said you look like a cow!" Res screeched from the bar. 

"Ox! I said ox!" Vorstag looked over to see dirges glare, and panicked he shouted, "I said he looks strong as an ox! Not tha- y-you don't look like a- I was just- uhh!" His words puttered out as his drink caught up with him. 

"Lies!" Res shouted. "Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" As she shouted a few of the others joined in. 

Dirge stared at vorstag for a moment. Then walked from his post. The chant dissolved in to shouts from all around. Dirge shoved one of the newer members from their stool and sat next to vorstag with his elbow on the table. He nodded at vorstag, and vorstag took his hand. 

"Hold up you two!" Vekel put his hand on theirs. "Bets! Place your bets here!"

Res clapped a hand on vorstags shoulder, "I got 5 septums on vorstag! Woo!" She almost fell over as she shouted. 

Over the next few minutes a pool was gathered, in all the odds were 1 to 9 against vorstag. The thieves crowded around them, heckling mostly vorstag, but res did her best to keep the heckling even. 

"Alright." Vekel kept his hand on top of theirs. "On 3! 1.... 2... 3!" 

Dirge's fist weighed down like a ton of bricks, but vorstag was no wimp. They were even for the first ten seconds or so, but over time vorstags hand hit the table. 

The room erupted in applause, and groans as coins were exchanged. Vorstag looked over to see res hand in her 5 septums, and was surprised to Vekel give her a large purse of coins. 

"I thought you bet on me!" 

"I did, but I was also the only one willing to bet you would last more than a minute, and I placed around 50 septums on that one." She clapped his shoulder. "Thanks vorstag!" She wandered back to a stool by the bar. 

"I honestly don't know whether to be insulted or not." Vorstag said to no one in particular. 

"Be flattered." Vekel chimed in. "She was the only one who placed any money on a chance of you winning."

Vorstag sighed but went back to the bar.

"I got the next round!" Res shouted. The bar swelled into cheers and shouting that went far into the night. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

The next mourning vorstag woke up laying on a table with a pounding headache, to his surprise though, he wasn't the only one. Delvin was on the wooden deck his clothing had been pierced through with a dagger holding his sleeping form there, on his face was a drawing of a skeever riding a troll in... something. Res's handiwork no doubt. Although the angry note on his chest was someone else's. 

Vipir and niruin were past out in a pile in the corner. Niruin having clearly stolen whatever vipir had on him and crammed it down his jacket. 

Even Vekel the man himself seemed a little over done. Snoozing on a makeshift bed behind the bar. 

Vorstag tried to ease off the table but ended up falling, the slight altitude change sending him reeling. As he finally stood up water was splashed on him. 

"Gaah! Ok! I'm up! That was a bit unnecessary!" He sobered a under the cold water, and dizzily clung to his head and the table. 

Tonilia tutted. "If you could smell yourself, you'd know how necessary it is." She took her bucket back to gather more water for the others. 

Vorstag made his way down to the bar area and practically fell into a chair. He looked over and was surprised to find res sopping wet but eating her fill of eggs. 

"How can you eat after last night??"

Res only grunted in response. 

Slowly the members of the thieves guild woke up, and later Vorstag and res were on their own way. but everyone swore, even though most didn't remember what happened after that round res bought, that it was the best party they'd had in a while, and Vorstag was more than welcome to come back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm, I really wanted to get rhino now, this is also becoming more apart of a continuity I suppose. So chapters that are in a different time will be stated as such, otherwise it's in order??? We'll see. As always if you see a mistake tell me, I'll fix it when I have time.


	4. Good dog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dogs are the best. End of story.

Res stared at the pooch who's head was squished between her palms.  
"Did he just... Did you hear him- did he--"

"Yes" was barbases indignant reply. "He did. And I will continue to do so!"

Res pulled her hands back, shuffling over to her bulky friend. "It sounds exactly like what I thought it would." She whispered to Vorstag who was contemplating cutting its head off. 

"Listen, I need your help!" The dog explains his situation about himself and his master and how he needs help 

Res looks at her companion. Ready to help this poor pooch. Vorstag on the other hand looks ready to bolt, or decapitate it, both welcome solutions. 

Res held the dogs cheeks. "Of course we'll help you! Lead the way."

"Uh, Res! No!" Vorstag stumbled after them protesting, Res continued to ignore him. 

~~~~

The dog sniffed his boots. 

"Stop it."

"Just sniffing where you've been, yeesh. So touchy." The dog trots back in step with Res

They spoke of the weather and the scenery. Every now and then Res would stop to look around and the dog would bump into her sending her into hysteric laughter. Vorstag was thoroughly disgusted by it. 

"Barbas how did you learn to speak?" Res asked. 

"It took a while. Clavicus made me study for centuries, he doesn't like being around those who can't hear him gloat."

Res thought on that, a dog lives for such a short time, perhaps a century for a dog is merely a decade? Of course who's to a magic talking dog wouldn't also be given the gift of extended life by their master. 'I would do that' Res thought. "Aww. Well you make an excellent conversationalist. Is there a chance I would be able to visit you when I return you to this clavicus fellow.

Vorstag felt physically ill at the idea.

"Hmm that would be up to him, he's not much of a socialite he goes decades without leaving his room. But maybe he would make an exception!"

They continued down the road. 

~~~~~

At one point they took out some wolves and the dog even commented on her sharp shooting skills 

"I was worried I was going to hit you if I'm honest!" Res hugged the dog. 

"It wouldn't do much for you I can't die!" The dog said as if it was nothing shocking. "Which is good since this lug couldn't hit a mountain in broad day light."

Res looked accusingly at Vorstag who had wondered a ways away. "Barbas... Are you sure you want to return to this clavicus fellow. If you wanted you could stay with me, I'm sure Vorstag would get used to you eventually."

"No I need to get back to my master. He's not as strong without me, it's very important that I'm with him." He stood up and began trotting off towards his masters cave. 

"What a good dog."

Vorstag wondered up, " I realize a talking dog sounds like a great idea, but... No. It's not a good idea, sorry. But you could just get a normal dog, just a nice old hound who doesn't talk, or a horse. A non talking completely average mountain climbing horse. Just a thought."

Res stuck her tongue out at him and followed the dog. 

~~~~

They crept into the cave. Res stopping them every now in then to get as many shots in before the other two came barreling in to take care of the rest of the vampires. 

It was slow going but they make it to a large statue of clavicus, who demands his axe before taking the precious pooch back. 

"Huh, a daedric prince." Res comments as she follows barbases to get the axe.

"As if a bewitched dog wasn't bad enough, he's a demons pet, I'm gonna be sick!" Vorstag leans against the mountain side. 

"Vorstag don't be rude. We can't help what we are, right barbas?"

He licks her face happily. "Right! I'll be out of your hair soon big guy. Be a little more optimistic like you're nice friend here."

"You only think she's nice because she feeds you extra meat." Vorstag drags a hand down his face and sighs. He goes to move from the mountain and immediately lurches back. "Not ready yet."

Res huffs. "Listen. Me and barbas are going to get that axe, you just wait here, ok?"

He nods and she turns and enters the cave. The day passes and that night he hears footsteps from the cave. He grabs his sword and shield... And sees Res and barbas carrying the axe. "Well. Seems you made it out alright."

She grins. "Yup. Let's take you home barbas. The dog jumps and barks happily. The two fall easily back into step. Vorstag lagging behind. 

~~~~

When Res finally convinced clavicus to take back his dog she stared sadly at the new barbas statue. 

"That thing doesn't even care for barbas. I could have made him happier." She pouted.

Vorstag grabbed her by one of the straps on her armor and pulled her towards the exit. "Uh, it's for the best?" He said, trying to rationalize the quest. 

Res sniffled. "Do you think we did the right thing?"

He stopped rolled his eyes and nearly left the Breton there, "I know we did." He pushed the words out. The madness was soon ending he thought. Then it'll be back to running around hunting bandits. He still says that on every adventure they go on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess talking dogs aren't good enough for vorstag. Weirdo. I had thought I already posted this before the riften stuff but guess not lol, it seems to fit here tho, to me anyways. let me know if anything is weird. Grammatically or otherwise.


	5. Solitude

Res slinked into solitude looking for gulum-ei, she was about to wander into the tavern when a familiar voice called out to her. 

 

"Res!" She jumped and quickly looked for the source. Running to her was a familiar nord, but she hadn't hired him to help with this job!

 

"What are you doing here?!" She hissed pulling him to the side. 

 

Vorstag shrugged her off easily. "I had a job escorting some fancy folk from Whiterun, nothing to serious, what brings you here?"

 

"Work."

 

He glanced at the tavern, "yeah, lots of work here, tell me how much does this work cost?" He grinned

 

Res rolled her eyes. "Guild work." She practically whispered. 

 

"Uh- oh. Should I? Um, my plans for the night were to go in there and drink until I pass out, am I still alright to do that? Or..."

 

"Ha! You should be fine, it's just talking... I hope."

 

"You hope?"

 

"Listen there won't be any fighting, but there might be busy work on my part." She flipped him a septum. "Have one on me."

 

He rolled his eyes but walked on in. 

 

After he had settled in by the bar he watched as res walked up to the argonian sitting in a little alcove, what are they talking about? He wondered. Thief stuff probably. He nodded his head in agreement with himself. Things seemed to get a bit heated until res finally stomped out. Guess she's not just talking. 

 

With little thought to how it could affect her thieving vorstag stomped out to follow her, at least for a moment. 

 

He found her easily. Funny how when you know what to look for, finding little thieves is fairly easy. As she stared at a guard he walked over to poke her shoulder, she immediately flinched away. 

 

"Ha!"

 

"Ass, I thought you were drinking till you pass out?"

 

"Eh, got bored. So I'm guessing it was more than just talking?"

 

She sighed. "Yeah, I guess I'm not intimidating enough."

 

A snort escaped vorstag.

 

Res sputtered, "I can't believe you, we have fought side by side! You watched me kill a saber!"

 

"I watched you screaming wildly and running from that saber, until you accidentally shot a poison arrow at it."

 

"KILLED a saber. How many sabers have you killed?"

 

"3"

 

She started to retaliate then paused. "Damn it you probably have." She grumbled. "Listen, I'm on a job here, so could you please just go back to the bar?"

 

"What are you gonna do?"

 

She waved her hands at herself and just hissed, "Guild Stuff."

 

"Oh, right..." he turned around. "I'll be at the tavern. Find me when your done."

 

Res sighed and walked on past. 

 

She faded into the shadows as she inspected the castle. All she needed was to grab a couple bottles and then she could squeeze gulum-ei for everything he knew. 

 

As she walked in she saw that the place was crawling with guards, but they barely took notice of her. 

 

She saw the bottles where gulum-ei said they would be and quickly grabbed the whole case. She was about to leave when she saw that a door had been left open... 

 

She crept in and saw what she assumed to be the jarl's quarters! Her eyes rushed about, from the ingredients to the books to the jewels. She grabbed a few books to add to her collection and snatched the jewels as she walked until a rather large stone in a gaudy little box caught her eye. Snatch! Another trophy for the infamous little res. 

 

She was about to leave when footsteps caught her ear. Res quickly hid in one of the large wardrobes in the room. 

 

The jarl was followed by two guards and a lady in waiting to attend to her needs as they arose. She looked about the room. 

 

"Oh deer, it seems I've misplaced a few of my ingredients." The jarl looked about the room. 

 

"Perhaps one of the maids mistook them for detritus, I'll be sure to have a word with them your grace."

 

"Perhaps your right." She attended to other business as res remained in the wardrobe practically holding her breath. The woman who had arrived with her advised her on courses of action she should take, the best way to spend funds and so on. A real blowhard. 

 

finally after what felt like hours the jarl dismissed her. Res cracked the door in time to see the woman taking off her jewelry and crown, as well as a few of the warm layers that she wore. The jarl turned to the row of wardrobes. 

 

Nonononononononono!!! Res thought as she shut the door. 

 

The woman walked closer at what was an unbearably slow rate. 

 

Res held her breath. 

 

She could hear the taps of the jarl's feet on the tile. Res closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable.

 

She heard the creaking of the door and opened her eyes to... a dark closet. 

 

The jarl grabbed a nightgown and quickly changed into it. Now that res looked a lot of these dresses were more of the ballgown variety, not nightgown.

 

She waited a few minutes before creeping out of the closet. She could hear the guards mumbling on the other side of the door. That's out then. 

 

Res moved towards the windows. Outside was a sheer cliff face. She took in a deep breath and crawled out the window. Slowly creeping along the side until she reached the walls and finally into the streets. First she paused in the shadows, trying to catch her breath. Once she was able she made her way back to the tavern. 

 

\---

 

Back at the tavern, vorstag had reclaimed his spot at the bar, after a few ales a noticeably tired res walked back in with a crate of some sort. She quickly handed it to the lizard and soon after began arguing with him. The lizard finally got up to leave.

 

Res turned to the bar, "one shot of firebrand whiskey please?" She put her coins on the table. 

 

Vorstag placed some coins of his own next to hers, "one for me as well."

 

He holds up his glass, "good luck."

 

She bumps her glass. "Don't need it." they swallow the bitter liquid, "But thanks." She turned to walk away, "and don't wait up, I feel like this is going to be a long one." 

 

Vorstag laughed and bought himself another round, see if she tells him what to do! Several rounds later he was griping to the barkeep, "and she's- 'm not. Er, 'm not under her eployy, nd she goes 'n tells me what ta do! Nu-uh! Stayin up allllll night if I gotta!" 

 

The barkeep rolled his eyes, "yup, that will show her."

 

"A-hic! You kn-n-n-now it! Ooh, I'm a little dizzy, maybe I should slow down,"

 

The barkeep stared at him, with a look that said, really? You really think that's gonna happen?

 

"MmmmmmNope! Another round!" He slammed more coin on the table. 

 

"Listen I think you've had eno-"

 

Vorstag just slams more coins on the table, having to grab hold of the table to keep from falling. 

 

"I'm gonna have to cu-"

 

More coins. 

 

"... alright one more round."

 

"WOO!"

 

The rest of the night was a blur in Vorstag's mind. He woke up in a bed, somehow still night out? When did that happen? 'This part was supposed to go till dawn!' He thought. 

 

He rolled over and found that he had wrapped the blanket around his head, taking it off he saw the midday sun shining through the shudders. 'Oh. Good.' He slowly pulled himself out of his bed and reached for his coin purse. 

 

Empty. Well that's not surprising. Not good, but hopefully he had at least already paid for the room. He slowly stumbled from the room to find a place to relieve himself and subsequently remove some extra alcohol from his system. When he went back inside the barkeep gave him a plate of grilled meat and potatoes with two large gooey grilled eggs on the side, grinning as he watched vorstag nearly jump up and back outside to vomit again. 

 

The barkeep laughed as he stumbled back in. Vorstag glanced at him, "Er a woman didn't happen to come in last night did she? Short Breton, dark hair, lots of red stuff on her face?"

 

"Not since you both took those shots" the barkeep said as he ate from the plate that had been set for Vorstag. 

 

Vorstag took a seat next to the man and laid his head on the table. A cup was placed in front of him. 

 

"... I don't have anymore money."

 

The man snorted, "Ha! I know! You dumped all your gold on the bar and yelled for me to keep them coming right before you passed out!" 

 

Vorstag groaned. 

 

"Listen drink the tea, it'll help with your head, and maybe eat some bread."

 

\---- 

 

Res trudged up the sides of the street, covered in pond slime and dirt and even spider webs. Her hair was falling out of it's but and her war paint was smeared making her look more like a clown. She staggered into town with a large bag on her shoulders and slowly shuffled into the tavern. 

 

She saw vorstag with his head in his hand and a cup in front of him. She took the seat next to him and put a bag in his lap before her head fell on the table. 

 

Vorstag groaned but looked inside to find gold coins. "Wha..."

 

Res kicked the large bag closer towards him. And tucked her head under her arms. 

 

"When are we leaving?"

 

"Not today." Was all she said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had to think whether or not vorstag would be a drunk WOO! guy, but i figured after so many drinks we are all that WOO! guy.


	6. Res Vorstag and Blaise

Outside of solitudes gates res and Vorstag wondered down to a small farm to look for a ride back to riften. 

"Hello?" Res looked around for anyone who ran the farm. She turned to look into the barn. "Hello!?-"

"Aah!" Something yelled on a near by hay bale, causing res to fall back in surprise. A child scurried to get a better look at them. "Oh, uh.. hello can I help you?" The boy, nervously looked around the farm. 

Res straightened up her armor before addressing the boy, "we were hoping to catch a ride back up to riften, do you know when the next carriage will be here?"

"There's usually one that runs through every other day, but one just left not long ago."

Vorstag gave her a pleading look, "I don't want to carry this bag up the hill."

"Alright... Who's in charge here?"

"Kelta, she owns the place."

Vorstag looked at res's face covered in her menacing red paint along the lips and eyes, "I think I'll go talk to her."

"Wha? You sure? I've got the coins."

"Yeah I'm pretty sure, just wait here."He said as he walked off to the home. 

Res leaned onto the barn and looked at the kid. "Ya got a name?"

"Er, Blaise..."

"Huh, good name, I'm res." She held her hand down to him and he gladly shook it. 

"Why do you have that stuff on your face?"

"Because without it I'm just too pretty."

He laughed. "Are you a Breton?"

"Born and raised, you look like your straight from highrock yourself." She ruffled his hair. 

"Yeah, everyone says I'm a Breton, and that my parents were from there, have you been there?"

"Not recently no."

The boy hums. They sit in silence for only a moment. 

"Are you a hunter?" Blaise asks. 

"Why do you ask?"

He points at her bow. "Oh, I guess I do hunt on occasion. You could say I'm more of an adventurer though." 

The boys eyes go wide. "Woah! Really?! Do you fight lots of monsters?"

"I killed a saber once, and some falmer in a dwemer ruin."

"Wow!" He stared at her in awe.

Vorstag ran up to them. "She said we can camp here, but she doesn't want us going in her house." He gives res a pointed stare. She merely smiles at the accusing look. 

They set up camp and the boy continues to ask them questions. And before long the three of them were all around the campfire eating some of their rations. 

"I don't believe you!" The boy says. "There's no such thing as ghosts." He says resolutely. 

"Well believe it or not kid, there was a ghost there the whole time. And I killed it, singlehandedly with an arrow."

"... how do you kill a ghost?!"

"With an arrow, weren't you listening?"

"But it's- no- it doesn't matter because ghosts don't exist!" The boy pouted in between the two adventurers while they both grinned. The boy rubbed his eyes and seemed to wobble back and forth, seeming to loose all his energy after arguing about the validity of ghosts. 

"Well, its getting late kiddo, we gotta go to bed." Res said as she grabbed her furs to snuggle into. 

"Ok." The boy walked away. 

"what a cute kid." Res watched as he walked to the barn. 

"He really seems to like you."

"And who wouldn't?" Res grinned. They both heard little footsteps marching back over and saw the boy holding some old furs. "Er, wouldn't you rather sleep in your bed?" Res asked. 

"No, I don't have a bed, i usually sleep in the barn." He says mater of factly. 

They both pause. "What?"

"I sleep in the barn in the hay, I thought it would be nice to be by the fire though... is that ok?" He looks at them with sad puppy eyes. 

"Of course it's ok! But why do you sleep in the barn?!"

"Kelta let's me sleep there. I work here, and she feeds me and lets me sleep in the barn."

Res and Vorstag both share a look. They couldn't take the boy with them, their lives were far to dangerous, plus they had no where to live! 

The boy laid out his bedding in between them and let out a yawn. "G'night." He mumbled. 

When the boy was asleep res got up and put her furs on the boy. 

"How can she sleep at night knowing this poor child is out here in the cold?!" She whispered to Vorstag. 

"This isn't, uncommon... though it is quite sad."

"Did you see his blanket? How is he supposed to last the winter with that?!" Her whispers growing more shrill

"I don't know! I'm sorry, I didn't leave him out here!" 

The kid tossed in his sleep and the two of them stopped. 

Res grabbed some fur coats from the bag. 

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to make him a bed roll, I refuse to let this boy freeze to death just because his parents aren't here."

Vorstag watched for a moment, then looked at the moon. It was late, and knowing how stubborn res was she would work on this till she passed out. He sighed. "Here, let me help..."

Together res and Vorstag worked to make a new warm blanket along with a cozy pillow for the boy,the bed roll with was made with leather from a pack of wolves they had killed and was stuffed with a mix of different animal furs and feathers. 

Before he could wake up Vorstag carefully moved Blaise from the dirt on to his new bedroll and tucked him in next to the fire. 

They both felt a little better knowing he would at least have a cozy place to sleep. As they laid down as the sun crept up. So exhausted from the night they couldn't even dream. Their sleep didn't last long however. They were startled awake hearing a loud shout. Res accidentally hit Vorstag in the head as she reached for an arrow. 

"Thank you!" The boy shouted as he huddled in his new fur lined sack. 

The carriage was still a ways off. The two slept in shifts, one helping the boy with his chores while the other slept. Vorstag helped him in the field, and res was able to help him clean the horses. When the carriage finally arrived it was a bit of a somber goodbye. Res gave the boy a hug and snuck a few coins in his pocket. While Vorstag ruffled his hair. They all waved goodbye as the horses took them farther and farther from the little farm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you in your twenties but meet your future son... I think Blaise is a little kid here, I wanna say maybe 7?? Idk I feel like in game they try to give them an ambiguous age but they just look 12 they are ALL 12. There's 3 ages in skirim. 12 30's and 87


End file.
